Ayodeji Awosika is one of the most popular writers on Medium, and for a good reason. He offers honest and valuable advice about life and writing that any one of us can apply.
Maybe you’ve heard by now, perhaps you haven’t, but Ayodeji wrote a book called “Real Help: An Honest Guide to Self-Improvement.” And it’s fucking brilliant. (Although, he might argue otherwise. You know how writers are.)
A lot of writers proclaim their book contains “no fluff,” and “no BS,” but when Ayodeji Awosika says it, he means it.
His words will slap you in the face, make you feel ashamed — basically, make you go through the five stages of grief — but you will come out better for it. He gives you the gift of reality.
He gives real and unique advice that will genuinely help you live a life that will make you feel fulfilled. If you want to transform your life, Real Help will help you do just that.
I read it, underlined a bunch of lines, and I wanted to share them here. They’re the type of quotes that make you think.
How can I use these little nuggets of wisdom to change my life? That’s what you want to ask yourself when you’ve read through them.
Here are ten of my favorite quotes from Real Help, out of (probably) a hundred.
1. Fight for yourself
“The minute I stopped fighting back against an imaginary enemy and started fighting for myself, my life changed.”
When you try to do what you love or improve yourself, people will try to pull you back. (Ayodeji explains this further in his book.)
We need to forget all of that. Rather than asking, “How can I prove them wrong?” ask, “How can I prove myself right?”
2. You save yourself
“No one is coming to save you.”
When I read this, I felt relieved. Knowing that how your life turns out is on you sounds scary.
However, it means you can stop waiting. You can stop expecting a person, God, or the Universe to make your life better and take action now.
3. Don’t talk, walk
“People like finished products. They don’t want to know how the sausage is made. Just be a glaring example of the full potential of human capability.”
You don’t need to tell anyone about how you’re going to change your life; you just have to do it. No one will believe you anyway. Don’t argue. Prove them wrong with your actions.
4. You have what you need
“…focusing on becoming resourceful can help you make up for a lack of resources.”
How many times have you seen someone talk about how they want to start a new venture, but then back out because “they don’t have what they need.” They did. They didn’t look hard enough.
You’ve got what you need to begin, too. Look closer.
5. Get to work
“Forget about daydreaming for a while and work on getting any traction.”
I’m a pro at letting my daydreams go too far. Bestselling books. Movies. Fame. However, I’ve learned that the best part if the journey is getting to do the work you enjoy.
Forget those arbitrary goals and do the work. Do it until you get somewhere, and then do it some more.
6. Play the long game
“We are self-interested, but to a fault. Driven by our ‘fast-brain,’ the ego-centric, automatic, cave-man foundation our brain is built on, we almost always make the choice that deeds the darkest nature of our self-interest: instant gratification, greed, discomfort, avoidance, and our lust for familiarity.”
How often do we choose actions that will make us happy in the short-term but miserable in the long-term?
We must learn to make decisions based on what will have better results down the line. If we don’t, our lives will become an endless loop of short-term gratification.
7. What’s the point of being pessimistic?
“Complaining about your unique set of circumstances could very well be justified, but is it useful?”
I’m grateful for a lot, but I also complain more than I should. Do you know where all that complaining gets me? Nowhere.
If you’re afraid of wasting time, stop complaining. Instead, take that time to transform your life into one you wouldn’t complain about.
8. Make the less stupid choice
“We tend to believe in the ironic notion of ‘wasting time.’ We don’t want to waste time pursuing something that might not work. But we’re more than happy to waste time doing things that will either keep us stagnant or move us backward.”
Sometimes, there is no smart option. There is only a choice that will make you happy even when it’s terrifying (and kind of dumb).
If you’re genuinely afraid of wasting your time, waste it doing something you’ll enjoy.
9. Don’t overwhelm yourself with your ambition
“…look at your life in the more immediate future, and visualize a life that stretches past your current level of thinking (but not so much so that it looks unrealistic).”
You have permission to dream smaller. When you look at how your life can change in three months rather than three years, it’s exciting and relieving.
Anyone can take small actions that make their life better by then. Baby steps, friends. They matter.
10. Obstacles are meant to be overcome
“Stop making every obstacle or bad day equal the death of your new path. Suck it up. Focus.”
An obstacle is “a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress.” Obstacles are not the end of the world. Shit happens, and you have to deal with it. It’s not an excuse to quit.
“Over time, you’ll realize that growing your ambitions by doing little things makes it easier to be even more ambitious.”
You don’t need to change your life overnight dramatically. You can learn to use your phone and be more present this month. You can start a blog to share your writing.
That’s it. Take it day by day until you look back ten years from now and realized you reached big goals by taking small actions.
Do yourself a favor. Get Real Help.
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