1. Don’t tie yourself to your expectations
“We can have expectations, but the only way to deal with adversity is to accept that expectations sometimes do not become a reality. Being open to take risks and to adapt to our environment is far more important than preparing for one scenario and believing things have to happen the way we conceive.”
I expected to make $200 on Medium last month, but I made $105. When you go into something believing your expectations will come true and instead life takes you a different direction, it’s easy to feel discouraged and want to quit.
However, I didn’t tie my happiness with those $200. Instead, I was proud of myself for trying, and decided to try again. Don’t spend days grieving or in anger; instead adapt and make the appropriate changes.
2. Success happens one step at a time
“The issue most people have with success is that they assume there is a single defining moment which paves the way for one to be successful.
This is a gross overestimation of how success works and ignores the part improving by 1 percent every day has to play.”
I used to view mistakes and failure as steps back. It wasn’t until recently that I realized these set backs weren’t set backs at all. If anything, they bring us closer to success — they’re steps forward.
This wrong turn you’re having is actually a turn in the right direction. It’s another small step toward your ultimate success. You just can’t see how it’ll play out yet.
3. You’re actually alright
“The truth is that we can’t do everything if we lack time, money, or any other resource. But we can never do everything anyway.
And yet? We can pretty much always do something. That’s what we forget because we get so damn caught up in our irrational thoughts.”
Sometimes, I feel unmotivated when I don’t have enough time or money anymore to do what I want. You might’ve recently lost something that was helping you reach your goals, but Shannon’s right.
You can reach your goals with what you already have. Stop focusing on what you’re lacking. Take what is available to you, and make something great out of it.
4. No matter what you do, give it another try
“The truth of the matter is that if you believe in yourself, believe in your writing, you have to give it another day, another week.”
Brian is one of the most inspirational people on Medium. For more than a year, he published article after article, and never saw big results. But no matter what, he persisted and remained consistent, and now his hard work is paying off.
If there’s anyone you should listen to when they tell you to keep believing in yourself and what you’re doing, and to keep trying, it should be him.
5. A setback is not the end
“Don’t focus on the result, focus on the process. The more you have fun doing something, the more you’ll want to do that thing. Be honest with yourself. Experiment. With the right attitude, you can have a blast.”
The reason I can publish on Medium every day is because I love writing. I used to focus on the result of my articles — how many people read, the number of comments I received, and so on.
Doing that is detrimental to your passion because when you attach your joy to your results, and you’re not happy with them, you start dreading the work. Once I shifted my focus toward the process, toward falling in love with writing again, creating every day became easier and fun.
6. The universe has a plan for you
“When it’s not yet your time, the world won’t be ready. But there’s no need to worry. Because when it is, you’ll know.
Life becomes significantly easier when you trust the timing of your own path. It can be tempting to compare your journey to the one that your friends or coworkers are on, but that doesn’t do you any favors.”
There have been many times when I click publish and think, “This is it. This is the article that’s going to blow up.” And then, it doesn’t happen.
I used to feel like utter shit when that occurred I understand now that sometimes things don’t happen not because there’s something wrong with me, but because it’s not my time yet.
It will be eventually, though. It’ll be yours, too.
7. You can’t grow if you quit
“…it’s about having the right message at the right time. How do you know you have the right message at the right time if the right time doesn’t exist? It won’t exist if you quit.
We aren’t perfect, but it’s the imperfection within ourselves that creates such amazing work.”
Salathia adds to Elena’s point with this quote. You might feel like crap right now because you feel like you screwed up, but don’t blame yourself. It’s not your moment yet — that’s it.
Probably you feel like quitting, but if you want your time to happen, if you want your moment, you can’t. You can’t reach your goals or have your time if you give up. So, let me ask you, what’s the point in quitting?
8. Even if you screwed up, keep pushing
“Consistent people are extremely rare. If you can learn to cultivate consistency in your work, you’ll eventually beat any talent, luck, skill, and even quality — just by being consistent.”
This moment you’re living through right now, this hardship — this is a defining moment. Most people will give in to the tough shit life throws at them, so you need to ask yourself if you’re going to be that person, or if you’ll be the one who stays and fights.
Will Smith once said that it doesn’t matter if someone is more talented, richer, or even sexier than him, he’ll never be outworked. He doesn’t quit. Be that person, and some day, you’ll win too.
9. Nothing more, nothing less
A rough week isn’t the end of everything. It’s just a rough week.
This is the shortest quote on here, but it’s powerful nonetheless. When I’m in the midst of a bad day or week it’s easy to feel like the world is crashing. I’ll think, “This is the end, and my life will be bad luck from now on.”
Talk about dramatic. But like Shaunta says, a rough week is just a rough week. It doesn’t define the rest of your journey. For all you know, the week after that could be the best week of your life.
10. You don’t have to remain stuck
“If you’re stuck, don’t mire in it. Take the hard look at the part you played in your down tick or stagnation. Get in there. Turn around. Keep going.”
Wherever you are right now in your journey — rock bottom or hanging off the edge of a cliff — you don’t have to stay there. You can own this setback, this obstacle, and turn it into something beautiful — into success.
Join my email list to get my free mini eBook, An Unapologetic Woman’s Manifesto.