I was reading through some drafts, and I stumbled upon the one I’m about to share with you right now. I’d written it for my old blog.
I didn’t want to publish it as its own piece because one, it doesn’t reflect where I am right now, and two, it’s only three hundred words.
However, when I wrote it, it was raw and real. The message is just as important now as it was when I wrote it earlier this year, and so I thought I’d share an article within an article.
“I have about ninety rough drafts of articles for this blog. I wrote them before launching, and now they’re just waiting for me to edit the fuck out of them.
I wrote them so that I never have to worry or stress about what to write next. I’ll never miss a deadline because I have articles ready, and all I need to do is rewrite and edit them.
But today, I’m writing a new article.
The truth is, none of those articles feel right. At least, not for today.”
“I’ve been a mess these past few weeks. I’m constantly tired, I get overwhelmed too easily, and I feel like I have no motivation to do anything.
I only get through a few items on my to-do list every day, and I’m stressed by the end of the day because I don’t get through everything.
I’m not entirely sure why I feel like this — so that really sucks — but I am sure of one thing: I have to write about it.”
“To write an article giving you advice or tips would be hypocritical of me because I’m barely getting by. The last thing I want to do is put up a front and pretend to be someone I’m not.
I’m not going to sit here and act like I have my shit together when the truth is I feel like crap.
Too many of us wear masks. We pretend to be okay, to have our lives together, to like a bunch of crap we don’t.
Doing this has only led to stress, the pressure to succeed, and endless insecurities.
It’s up to us to speak our truths — to be open, vulnerable, and honest.”
“I had to write this article because this is my truth. I may have just launched a blog, I might love what I do, but I’m still a twenty-one-year-old who has no fucking clue was she’s doing.
I’m taking it day by day. And that’s okay.
It’s okay that this article is fucking short. This is the best I can do today.
I won’t always be able to write a one-thousand-word article. You won’t always finish a painting or take a perfect photo.
Sometimes, all you can do is your best, and whatever comes out of it is perfectly okay.”
While this article reflects where I was for that time in my life, it’s not an accurate description of where I am now — but that doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days.
Yesterday, for example, was a shit day. I tried writing about five times, but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t working out, and that made me feel even worst.
What I’m proud of is that I tried. I tried writing articles, and I even attempted to write a short story.
I didn’t complete the important tasks, but at least I got through a few other things.
The things you achieved, even if they weren’t what you wanted to complete, always count.
We always turn to others to get advice.
We’ll read another writer’s words to get answers, and that’s fine. You don’t have all the answers, but we forget that sometimes we do.
The girl I was just six months ago was in a tough spot, and she learned something. I learned something. I just had to look back and remember what it was.
If you feel off, if you’re having a tough day, or if you’re feeling particularly unmotivated, then giving your best today is all that matters — even if your best isn’t all that great.
Because that’s okay too.