Did anyone else sing that title in their heads? (If you don’t know, it’s a lyric from Girl, Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae.)
I woke up with the song playing in my head, which is strange because I haven’t heard it recently. Still, I found myself singing it as I came downstairs, sat on the kitchen table, and opened my laptop.
I opened a blank page to write and then sat back. What should I write today? I stared at the blank page, the bananas hanging out in the middle of the table, the cloudless blue sky.
I couldn’t think of anything, so I put my fingers on the keys and wrote the first thing that came to mind. It was the lyrics to the song.
I typed them all, and then I got to this part of the chorus:
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams.
I paused after that.
I thought about something I posted in my Facebook group this morning. I’d asked the womxn in the group what their Medium goals were for November.
When I typed that lyric, I thought, I hope they all reach their goals this month. They deserve it.
Then, I thought about all the people in the world who have the guts to chase their dreams.
I realized I wanted to write something for them, thus began this piece.
I’m not an emotional person by any means. It may seem like I am because people call my stories on here “raw and vulnerable,” but I feel more when I write than, like, ever.
I’ve never cried during a movie when the dog dies, and only a few times if the partner or best friend dies (Five Feet Apart, anyone?).
Out of all the books I’ve read, only one has made me sniffle. (Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, if you’re wondering.)
These storylines make me sad, yes, but not to the extent where tears have to fall out. My sister is terrified and strongly dislikes — okay, hates — dogs and even she bawled during Hachi.
But do you know what always makes tears spring to my eyes at such a speed that I have to blink them away so that I don’t embarrass myself?
Golden buzzers — like the ones on America’s Got Talent? Yeah. Those, and anything else that has to do with people getting good news or permission to chase their dreams.
Anything that has to do with people reaching their goals makes me want to cry.
I’m an imperfect human who’s empathy levels are so low that I don’t realize when I say something hurtful. I say things I regret, but one thing I’ll never do to anyone?
Not believe in them.
I will never not believe in you. Even if we’ve never talked, even if I don’t know your goddamn name, I one-hundred-fucking-percent think you can reach your goals.
I don’t care that you’re broke and living with your parents or that you just failed at your fifth try at building a business, I still know you can live the life you’ve envisioned for yourself.
I will encourage the fuck out of you, and I’ll never stop — but do you know why I can do that? Why I can genuinely believe in you, and I mean literally with zero doubt?
Because that’s how much I believe in myself.
I have doubts when it comes to writing — a fuckton of them, but even when they’re loud and convincing, there’s a part of me that knows they’re wrong.
Even if that belief is at ten percent, it still shines brighter than the darkness.
And yet, here I am, aren’t I? Writing another fucking article.
You must have that same belief in yourself.
You have to trust that when shit gets tough — and by that, I mean when your fears try to make you quit — you’ll find a way to overcome it.
You have to believe, even if it’s just slightly, that you can do this and that you do have the skills.
If you don’t, you’re never going to make it. If you don’t trust yourself, then when you stumble upon your first obstacle or your insecurities are arm wrestling with you and winning, you’ll quit.
You’ll give in to their strength, forgetting all about your own.
You’ll give up because you believe you can’t do this anyway, so what’s the point?
But if you believe in yourself, you’ll tap into that bit of strength and use it to throw your arm forward in spite of your exhaustion.
You don’t have a choice. You have to believe in yourself, and when you do, spread some of that belief to others.
It can change everything.