Sometimes You Get What You Want, Just Not the Way You Wanted

Keep an eye out for it — you never know what it’ll look like.

I launched my blog in May of this year with one main goal in mind: to build a community of creative womxn.

I wrote my articles directly for womxn, and even one of my lead magnets was called, “An Unapologetic Woman’s Manifesto.”

It wasn’t until a month or two later that I realized I didn’t want to be writing for all creative womxn; I wanted to write for womxn writers.

I had a lot to say about the topic, and I felt I could write relatable content about the struggles and share tips. The idea felt right in my gut, but it was too late. I wasn’t about to change my blog only after two months after launch.

So, I didn’t do it.

Fast-forward to today, and I don’t even run that blog anymore. I got tired and bored of blogging, which I’d been doing for three years.

Now, Medium is my full-time job.

After being on Medium for three months, I noticed that the womxn writers on this platform would always talk about the hateful and sexist comments they received from some men.

Naturally, it pissed me off, and I wondered what I could do about it. I thought about it for a while, and then I came up with a way to help: a Facebook group dedicated to the womxn of Medium.

It would be like other Medium Facebook groups, with the daily share threads and whatnot, but we could also rant there and laugh at all the hate comments we receive.

It would be a place to support, encourage, and lift each other so that womxn can continue to thrive on Medium.

I was iffy about it — I even messaged Salathia Richburg, asking her if she thought a group specifically for womxn would be a good idea.

When she said yes, I knew I had to do it.

So, I did it — and now we’re at 135 members. I love the group because the womxn in there go out of their way to help and support the other writers, and it makes me want to help more.

It turns into a never-ending cycle of kindness.

In the middle of working out last night, I started thinking about the Facebook group. I wondered how I could take it a step further, make it feel more like a community, and different from other Medium groups.

While I listened to music on Spotify, I thought, What if I make a collaborative playlist for the group? A playlist where we can all add empowering or girl-power songs?

I let the idea simmer as I finished my workout, and then I laid down on the yoga mat, got my phone, and created the playlist. (I don’t know if they’ll like the idea, but that’s beside the point.)

Anyway, as I made the playlist, I thought about how I’d wanted to do the same thing for my community in my blog.

I had the realization then.

I was running a group filled with womxn writers — the exact thing I’d wanted a couple of months ago. The only difference is that it wasn’t through my blog but Medium.

I got what I’d dreamed of, just not in the way I’d planned. It inspired this article.

The takeaway

Sometimes, you get what you want — just not the way you wanted.

The Universe has a funny way of doing things. Some days, you get what you wished for exactly, and other days, it comes to you in a weirdly shaped boxed wrapped in strange paper.

Most of the time, it’s better than you expected.

Never in a million years would I have thought about running a Facebook group, mainly because, like any other sane twenty-something, I hated Facebook.

I had no idea how to use it. Yet, it’s one of my favorite choices I’ve made.

When, a couple of years ago, I said I wanted to make money by writing what I wanted, I thought it’d be through my blog. Now, I’m here on Medium.

Most of the time, we forget to look at what we have and fail to recognize that what we wished for is already a part of our lives. It just looks different than we expected.

The key is to be flexible. I could still be running that blog even though I knew in my gut that I shouldn’t anymore. I could still be holding onto it, afraid of what would happen if I let go.

But I listened and trusted myself, and leaped out of the blogging world and into Medium. In the end, I got what I’d envisioned.

Take a look around. What have you failed to notice you already have, even though you’ve been wishing for it?

If you’re holding on to an idea or plan, despite you knowing it’s wrong, let it go. Perhaps it’s that letting go that will help you reach your goals.

You have to trust that you’ll get what you want. Keep an eye out for it, though. You never know what it’ll look like.

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